Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
