i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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