boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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