do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
