im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
