Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize