my vag is so smooth its legendary
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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