I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
