you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
