It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
