Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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