I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
