I just pynch a tree in the face
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
