I am puke
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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