im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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