i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
