I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
