there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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