Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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