I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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