4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
