You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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