Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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