She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it was like eating out sand paper
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She's the barista slut.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
