You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
