Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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