pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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