I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
