You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
