Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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