Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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