You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Randomize
