Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
