I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
