is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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