Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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