we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
