Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just high enough for therapy.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
