I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
