Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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