i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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