i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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