You work out of a Hotel?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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