We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
