she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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