Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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