I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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