My brain says no but my pants say off.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
