I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
do herpes really smell.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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