Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
