I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
