they need to just BURY HIM!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
