This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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