So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize